i want our spooky fluids to mingle
As I blow
my nose into an old paper towel that i dabbed my blood on after very minorly scraping my cuticle at work yesterday i wish someone were here to say, “gross, don’t do that!” because i would be able to respond, “it’s okay; it’s my own blood.”
“My girlfriend broke up with me.
Now my room is going to be literally covered with bottles full of piss.”
A woman at the Rosebud bar told my manager Jibril that she wanted to lick his balls
(Source: 4gifs, via fuckyeahdementia)
“can i please just die before this world gets any weirder?”
I know… so much tie dye!
(Source: getofftheinternerd)
(via fuckyeahdementia)
that’s a carp
(Source: danielhashtagyolo, via fuckyeahdementia)
chloraseptic throat spray reminds me of beer with beechwood smoked malt; they both have a band-aid thing goin on
fuck sexual integrity
at the end, i think this becomes a review of the drunkenness produced by the beer, but still sounds like he’s describing a beer and not necessarily a drunk. it’s also the most poetic part of the review. this is all very important.
